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  Rexi held up the list and groaned when it folded down like a Jacob’s ladder, tripling her work.

  Kato sauntered over and tapped me on the back with his tail. He was grinning so wide you could see his back fangs. “So…love, huh?”

  High up on the ladder, Rexi reached for the jar of newt nuts but couldn’t resist getting in a jab. “She’s been hit on the head multiple times and drugged. Her judgment is clearly impaired.”

  I didn’t have a mirror, so I couldn’t tell if my flames were burning the tips of my ears or not, but it felt that way. My pronouncement had been made in the heat of the moment, and now I was in the awkward after moment. What had I just done? Thoughts zip-a-dee-do-da’ed through my mind. I very carefully replayed every word Kato said. Not one of them was love. Or even like. He said, “She’s worth it.” Maybe he was thinking of my political value. Or the worth of my new powers. Maybe it had nothing to do with me as a person at all.

  Instead of just asking him how he felt, I took the coward’s way out. “What was that, Hydra? I’ll be right over,” I said, cocking my ear to the imaginary call. I ran over to the small prep table where Hydra was making some calculations. Kato followed me but didn’t say anything more; his smug, satisfied look spoke plenty.

  Tugging on the tiger-print tablecloth she was writing on, I got her attention. “You spoke about costs earlier. I don’t have anything on me right now other than the jewels in the dress. Will that be enough? Or do you need more?”

  Her face smoothed and got very serious. “Costs not be in da terms of jewels nor gold. Cost be comin’ from ya life.”

  “Are you talking about a sacrifice? Because if so, I nominate Rexi,” Kato said, trying to take a peek at Hydra’s notes.

  Rexi made a rude gesture with the chicken’s foot she was holding.

  “I be needin’ ya life magics. A nail from da boy, and some hair from da girl.” Hydra finished writing what she was working on and asked us to sign. It was completely illegible.

  “What does it say?” I asked.

  She held the document out in front of her. “It be sayin’ I’s not at fault if de spell don’t be workin’. Dat ya dun broke da magic rules and dis is bein’ da bestest I can do. An if he be dyin’, ya’s not be allowed to be comin’ afta me.”

  I turned to Kato, giving voice to the alarm bells ringing in my head. “Maybe you shouldn’t. There’s really nothing you need to be human for. Plus, we haven’t had a very good track record with magic lately. Think Black Crow. Do you want to become a stuffed lion or something?”

  Hydra put the paper on the counter and turned back around to counsel us, her face grave. “She be havin’ a point. But ya should alsa know, if ya be growin’ inta a full beastie, der be no changin’ back for ya.”

  Kato huffed, the air ruffling his auburn mane. “So try to be human and possibly blow up, or be stuck as a Chimera and lose my ice magic for all eternity. That about right?”

  “Dat’s abut da sum of it. I be lettin’ ya decide.” Hydra went over and helped Rexi with the ingredients.

  “Don’t do this, Kato,” I pleaded. “I’ll still help you figure out a way to keep Blanc imprisoned.”

  “It’s not about that.” His whiskers twitched, bristling with agitation.

  I raised my hand to his face and stroked the fur on his cheek. “I meant what I said. I will still like you if you stay furry forever.”

  Kato’s muzzle quirked to one side. “Like me? A minute ago you said you loved me.”

  My face heated. “Not exactly. Listen, about that—”

  Kato stopped me. “No, you listen.” He moved his head close, resting his brow ridge on my forehead so I could see nothing but those ice-blue eyes. “At the tower, it was obvious that the wizard wanted you. And he was very handsome, so I was jealous.”

  I tried to interject, but he kept right on going.

  “And when they locked me up, I knew something was wrong. I had nothing to do with my time but worry about what he was doing to you. Had he put his hands on you? The thought made me want to rip that tower down brick by brick. I realized it wasn’t just because I was concerned for your safety, but because no one should be allowed to touch you but me.”

  My hair was still more or less bound in the intricate style, but the few strands that were loose glowed and popped with the pounding of my heart.

  “I need to be with you,” he continued, backing up a step. “I would rather blow up than live a lifetime without being able to kiss you. It may be unreasonable, but I won’t settle for anything less than living happily ever after in love with you.” He gently took the pen from my hand with his mouth and signed the paper. “Okay, Hydra, I’m ready,” he called and walked over to where she and Rexi were dicing the ingredients.

  I stared down at the paper he had just scribbled on, and I knew I couldn’t sign it, because if anything happened to him, no force in story would keep Hydra safe from me.

  “Mix da ingredients togeda, child.” Rexi headed over to dump the handfuls in the cauldron. Hydra panicked and caught the ingredients before they hit the water. “Not der! Dat’s da battub. Put dem in da Crock-Pot by Dotea.” Hydra shook her head and muttered something I couldn’t make out.

  “You spell in a Crock-Pot and bathe in a cauldron?” Rexi asked in disbelief.

  “Would be pretty hard to be doin’ da reberse now wouldn’ it?” She turned her attention to Kato and I. “Okay, yas two lovebuds. Come on ober here so I be collectin’ da life magics.”

  She took a snippet of my hair. The emerald tip popped and hissed in protest at being cut away. Even more than that, I felt its loss, like I was weaker somehow. Next, she took a hammer and chisel to Kato’s paw and chipped off one of his nails. He only had six left. It made me ill that he had used three out of his lifetime quota of ten since meeting me. At this rate, he’d use them all and be dead in a month.

  Hydra stirred the potion and frowned over it. “Sumthin’ be not quite right.” She looked around and tapped her finger thoughtfully. Her gaze stopped on me. “Could dat be a lotus rose in ya hair?”

  I felt in back. Sure enough, it was still there. Kind of surprising that it had survived everything. I pulled it out of the comb and held it out to Hydra. She looked it over and nodded her approval. The flower might have been missing one or two petals, but it was still largely intact. Instead of taking it, she pushed the flower down into my palm. The thorns under the petals pricked me, drawing blood—exactly as Hydra intended, no doubt. She plucked the flower from my hand and tossed it into the Crock-Pot.

  Nothing happened.

  Rexi peeked into the top. “Shouldn’t you say a rhyme like, Double bubble royals are trouble?”

  Leaning back against the counter, Hydra calmly folded her arms. “No, but yas betta be standin’ back if yas wantta be keepin’ yas eyebrows.”

  Rexi jumped back right before green and purple flames burst upward from the Crock-Pot. “You might have said that before I stuck my head in there.”

  Hydra shrugged and found a jar. Dumping out the little worm in the bottom, she went to the Crock-Pot and ladled out a scoopful. It did not look appetizing. Her sniff and resulting look of disgust verified my opinion. She ran over to the side counter, where the tea set was, and dropped in a sugar cube, then handed the jar to me. “Ya can help him drink it.” She grabbed Rexi and moved to the other side of the cauldron. “We’s be ober here.”

  Good to know she was confident in her work.

  Putting a hand under Kato’s mouth, I readied the potion jar. “Last chance to change your mind.”

  His eyes burned into mine, his features set. “Nope. I know what I want.”

  “Then open wide and start praying.” I dumped the contents down his throat. He stuck out his tongue and screwed up his face. Apparently the sugar didn’t help the medicine go down. He started trembling. No, it was more like convulsions. His horns shrunk down to nubs. The process wasn’t going to be easy, and Kato roared in pain.

  Rexi grabbed my arm and dragg
ed me behind the cauldron. Feathers popped off Kato’s wings and started floating around the room. He roared again, standing on his hind legs, the top of his head bumping the ceiling. Then he collapsed on the floor, the cauldron blocking him from my view.

  I started to run to him, but Hydra pulled me back. “How many times I be sayin’, wait for it?”

  The space of a few heartbeats might have taken centuries for what it felt like. Then came an explosion of smoke and fur. A few more beats later and a tanned hand gripped the rim of the cauldron. Then another hand grabbed the rim—a very pale hand.

  Rexi scrunched her face. “What the spell?”

  My thoughts exactly. I prayed even harder that the boy about to stand up looked mostly like the prince I first met in my palace—including the appropriate number of appendages.

  With a groan, Kato pulled himself up to standing. His fur was gone, replaced by a head of auburn hair and tanned skin. All except for his left arm, which, starting at the shoulder, was stark pearl white.

  Oh, and he was completely naked.

  I closed my eyes and used my hand to cover Rexi’s.

  “What are you doing that for? The cauldron hides all the good parts anyway,” she complained.

  “Well, they’re not yours to see,” I snapped. Rexi snickered. Then I realized what I just said and what that implied. Ah Grimm, can the earth just swallow me up now?

  I felt a hand brush against my arm. It wasn’t a delicate hand like Rexi’s. And it wasn’t wrinkly like Hydra’s. It felt rough and callused. And it gave me goose bumps.

  “You can look now. I’m decent.”

  I opened my eyes and found myself looking into Kato’s very human face. “Hi,” I said dumbly.

  “Hi, back.”

  Rexi made gagging noises and pushed my hand away. “Nice skirt, Tarzan.” Kato had the tiger-print tablecloth wrapped around his waist.

  He didn’t snark back or give any indication that he’d even heard her. Instead, he took my face into his hands and kissed the top of my head.

  I didn’t know how it happened or how it even could happen, given how much we had hated each other at first sight, but all at once, I knew exactly what all those talks from Mom, Dad, and Bob had been about. I kept my eyes closed and waited for my very first real kiss.

  His lips didn’t feel like I thought they would. They were cold and a little leathery. The kiss wasn’t very good, to be honest. I opened one eye to peek and saw that I was kissing the back of Hydra’s hand. I backed away and rubbed my lips against my arm, trying to get the old lady taste out of my mouth.

  Rexi fell to the floor laughing.

  “I wouldna be doing dat if I’s was ya.”

  “And why is that?” Kato stopped clawing at his own mouth and noticed his hand issue. “And why is one arm a different color?”

  “Jus be grateful it dinna stay a big white wing. An as fo da kissin’—da rules of fairy tale be broken man—”

  Rexi sat up and waved her arms frantically. “Ooh, ooh, let me. The frog prince. If she kisses him, he’ll probably turn back into a chimera.” She fell back over again, laughing.

  The temperature in the room lowered about ten degrees. Kato had gotten back his command of ice.

  Hydra swatted Kato. “Stop dat, horny boy.”

  He colored and tried to stammer some sort of rebuttal. Hydra pointed to the top of his head. I went over and ruffled Kato’s hair. Lo and behold, a pair of nubby horns.

  Kato took a turn patting them and swore.

  Rexi looked like she was in the final death throes on the floor. “Horndog takes on a whole new meaning.”

  Even I couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “It’s no big deal, I promise. And we can figure out the whole kiss thing as soon as we fix the rules. So let’s figure out how we’re going to do that.” Then I noticed that my hand was on his bare chest. My face heated again. “But first maybe we can find something for you to wear.”

  Hydra tossed Kato some clothes. “Dese belonged to me fourt husband. Mebe dey be fittin’ ya.”

  I turned around but noticed both Rexi and Hydra were still watching. Grabbing them by the hand, I hauled them outside. “We’ll just step out for a sec and give you some privacy.” I closed the door and hit my head against it.

  Rexi pouted next to me. “Come on. Aren’t you just the least—”

  “No!”

  “I tink we’s bess go back inside.”

  I groaned and trudged myself around. “Not you too, Hy—”

  Something was stepping out of the water. They were short, blue-gray, muscled guys with hammer heads. I didn’t need to wonder if they were friendly or not, because the wizard was leading them from his flying balloon.

  “The Rule of Duty: Always ask someone else to do, so you won’t have to do for yourself.”

  —Thomason’s Tips to Ruthless Ruling

  30

  Head in the Clouds

  “We’ve got company,” I said breathlessly, rushing inside and slamming the door.

  Kato was in the middle of buttoning his shirt. “What do you mean?” He ran over and took a peek out the door—then slammed it shut, quickly putting his weight against it. “That doesn’t look good.”

  “Is there a back door or a secret exit or something?” I asked Hydra.

  “No in so muny wordins,” she replied.

  Someone pounded on the door. “Ozma. I know you’re in there. Just hand over my princess and I’ll leave you alone.”

  Hydra leaned her mouth near the door crack. “Sorry, wrong numba. Der be no Ozma here.”

  “I don’t care what you’re calling yourself now. Just do yourself a favor and stay out of it like you have the last two hundred years.”

  I really hoped she didn’t hand us over, but you don’t get to be that old by taking risks for near strangers. She didn’t owe us anything.

  Hydra pursed her lips and seemed to think over his proposal, then shook her head—the opossums swinging wildly. “No tanks, dat would be borin’.”

  I wanted to cheer, but the door pounded against my back.

  “Let. Me. In.”

  “Not by da hairs of me chinny chin chin.”

  “Then I’ll huff.” The voice behind the door started changing. “And I’ll puff.” Getting rougher and gravelly. “And I’ll blow your house in.” When the wizard—no, Mimicman finished, I can only imagine that his body had shape-shifted to match his voice. There was a big bad wolf outside our door.

  I took a deep breath and called the flames to my hands. It wasn’t hard to summon hatred for that man. He’d tried to use and manipulate me. And Grimm knows what his plans were for after the marriage. My body shuddered, and my hair flared bright in anger.

  Hydra put her hand to my heart. “No child. Dat is not da way. Using it will only feed da hunger inside until da madness gobble ya whole.”

  The power gnawed inside right now, trying to claw its way to the surface. The wind and something worse howled outside. “I don’t think we have a better option. Can you freeze them all, Kato?”

  He thought about it for a moment. “Not with my normal powers. Maybe if I used my life magic.”

  “No,” Hydra said. “Between da two beasties, I’s not sure you be winnin’.”

  I really didn’t like that idea either. He was burning through those way too fast, and our enemies just kept growing in numbers.

  Rexi ransacked Hydra’s hut, pulling boxes and jars off the shelves, opening drawers and looking under the counters. “Where is it?”

  I couldn’t help but notice she hadn’t frozen up with fear like she did any time Griz was around. Maybe that’s because she had a trick up her sleeve—or under Hydra’s cauldron or something. “Where’s what? Do you have a huntsman stashed somewhere in here?”

  The howling outside increased, and there was the sound of knocking coming from the walls—probably the hammerheads looking to do a little home remodeling.

  Rexi yelled at Hydra over the din. “Where does it go? The black hole, wormho
le, or rabbit hole that your houses keep disappearing into? Can’t we just escape through that?”

  “That’s brilliant, Rexi!” I cried.

  Hydra shook her head. “It only opens when I be puttin’ on a new head.”

  Kato’s back bucked against the banging of the door. “So switch already.”

  “I neber doned it while inside. Even with a transmigra-mogr-whosa, we’s might be gettin’ squished.”

  Rexi grabbed a random head off the shelf. “I think the house is comin’ down either way.”

  “Okay. Donna be sayin’ I dinna warn ya.”

  The tip of one of the hammerheads broke through the back wall.

  “If it doesn’t work, we’ll be dead. Then we won’t be saying anything.” Rexi yanked the voodoo head off by its yellow afro and placed the new head on Hydra’s shoulders.

  “Wait for it,” I whispered to Kato. He grasped my hand and squeezed.

  The hut shook fiercely, making my shoes click together. Up above, the ceiling started to crack. The walls buckled. Pressure built up in the room, making my head ache and my ears clog. Just when I thought my head would explode, there was a loud pop.

  We were no longer in the hut, but pieces of it were strewn all around us. Not only that, but we were surrounded by mountains of, well, junk. Old rockers, bed frames, doors, a giant shoe—all piled high in some kind of warehouse.

  “Where are we?” I marveled.

  Kato still had his back up against the door, but instead of the door to a wooden hut, it was now heavy, riveted steel. He pulled on the handle and opened it with a loud creak.

  Hydra wrapped a purple shawl with clinking coins around her shoulders. “Should I read you your fortune, or perkhaps you might just be taking clue? Ve are in the cloud storage, da?” The new head had more wrinkles than smooth, while her nose and chin looked like a withered squash. She spoke like a native of the Old World, from the times when Grimm was the only Storymaker. They weren’t spoken of in polite conversation, but from everything I’d heard about them, they made Rexi seem like a ray of sunshine.